Women are usually more sensory acute than men. They are more intuitive in detecting emotions and when a guy is interested. But there are times that you will meet a guy who is overly shy and discreet in expressing his feelings.
For the ladies out there who are curious (and sometimes clueless) as to how a guy feels about you, here are some signs/indications. Bear in mind, these are only indications and you need to calibrate his behaviors before making your conclusions:
1. He will be distracted when you are nearby and will steal glances at you and if you do notice him, he might look inconspicuous and pretends to look elsewhere.
2. He laughs at your jokes even if they are lame and no one laughs. If he is the office idiot, this one doesn’t count.
3. He may get nervous and stutters when he speaks to you [provided that he does not stutter in normal circumstances]. This is akin to the phenomenon when one gets tongue tied, head over heels and world got turned upside down. It has something to do with the bodily chemicals when one is in love.
4. He listens to you and remembers everything that you say, no matter how insignificant or crappy those things are.
5. He makes time and does little tasks and favors when you ask him. Just make sure that he is not the office ‘doormat’ that does things for everybody.
6. He notices new things about you and compliments you on your new hairdo, new dress, new shoes, etc.
7. He appears jealous when you are with another guy. According to Dr. David Buss in his book, The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex, jealousy is a defense shield of love that men use to fend off constant threat from rivals and the possibility of betrayal from a partner.
8. He treats you a little different than how he treats other girls. Somehow, because he thinks of you a lot, he subconsciously displays more affection for you without realizing it.
9. He talks and looks at you differently than other people. It could be a longer eye contact or a more distinct smile when he talks to you.
10. When you are conversing with him and your friends, he responds mostly to you and not so much to your other friends. He looks at you whenever you speak and he may act as if your other friends do not really exist.
With all being said, the most ideal way to find out is to ask him if he is interested in you or drop hints. Anyway, most girls are pretty intuitive. If you get the feeling that he likes you, he probably does.
A special message to Valerie, who wrote in with this question: I hope this will help and all the best to you.
He Says ... She Says ... 
Amazing information. I really appreciate this article! I really enjoyed #1 as I was taking it as he was flirting with me a lot then he seen I started reciprocating and thought he was backing off.
I experienced that myself, so I decided to ask him out for dinner and he said he was flattered and that he couldn’t because he was in a relationship, so I told him, if it didn’t work our for you two, to feel free to contact me, and he said ok, I will… so you never know he might be in a relationship. Does any one want to respond to what I just said what happened to me.
thats cool
Okay…get all the above responses…but he doesnt call me…always waits for me to call him and guess what I’m not going to! Even if he never calls again, especially since I told him I want him to call me!
I dont knw if he really loves me though he says it jokingly and txt atimes but he hardly calls.
Don’t play the pride game with guys like that. Trust me if he ginuenly loves you, he won’t care how much you call him. I had a guy just like that I called and text him prob 150 times a day, he never initiated anything until I stop calling for a week. But when he realized that’s why I was doing it he stop falling for the trick. Ultimately it broke us up for a while. But believe me if he’s talking to you every time you call, doesn’t even matter. If he did not like you he would not waste his time, men are too selfish to waste that kind of time. I call and text my guy all day long from morning to night, he never seems to get tired of me when I do that.
I’ve liked this guy for a few years now. But we’re in two different social circles. Since of lately I noticed that every time I look at him I get caught – or should I say he gets caught? I don’t know. One night he was making a speech and I just happened to look at him and he started stuttering mid-sentence and forgot what he was about to say. Thing is, I don’t know if he found out that I’m attracted to him or if he genuinely likes me.
I think he is attracted to you. The signs to look out for is – “does he stutter in mid-sentence all the time or only when you look at him?” That would be a great indication.
Have a man that flirts with me, when I flirt with him he doesnt flirt as much (hopes that make sense) we have been out a least three times. think he’s more comfortable on the phone when he flirts he seems to speak more freely.compliments me on my smile and how much enjoys spending time with me, very respectable such a mans’s man. Sends mixed signals though, He likes me but seem very guarded, dont really want to show my true feelings, dont want to be rejected.I find myself thinking about him throughout the day.
Perhaps he feels more comfortable on the phone. Perhaps he is the conservative type that wants to be sure and wants the friendship to develop further. Do not use your logical mind to judge but instead rely on your instincts. For women, this comes more naturally, so use it.
Go for it. If you get burnt you get burnt. But at least you tried. Guys are psychotic, for so erratic they are scared to express themselves when it comes to love. I told a guy I love him and he told me F..k me but 2 months later asked me to marry him and told me he had always been in love with me. Guys are really that special
This guy, did alot of things that I think he might interested in me. Like he once SMS me in the middle of the night and ask me am I asleep. And once I caught him staring at me. And he said because I am beautiful. And many other things. My friend said he is definitely interested in me. But when I told them he is my boss ( he older than me by 13 years.) plus he is a quite famous in singapore. And my friend immediately change their opinon, say that is different. Because by his status, wealth and look. He is a very eligible bachelor. What do u think?
Well, there could be many possibilities. Maybe he is interested or maybe he is just looking for a fling. Check with other colleagues to find out his previous behavioral patterns.
i like one of my friends and he acts all tough wen he with me and his other friends then when hes with me hes nice. then he asked one of our friends if i liked him and she told him the truth then she told me. i asked him out and he said no so im confused. i was wonderin do yo think he doesnt like me and he lied or he does like me but hes not ready
That’s exactly what’s happening to me thanks!!
I’ve started to like this guy , I hang around with him a lot and when we are leaving he always gives my friends a hug , but when he is huging me he always pics me up , he’s always smiling at me , and all my friends say they think he likes me but he doesn’t speak to me outside of college unless I message him first , surely if he liked me he would message me first and want to speak to me , I’m scared of telling him I like him incase he doesn’t like me , I always mess things up 😐 , I’m so confused please help ?
Well, from the looks of it, it seemed like he is only friendly. There is no real indication that he likes you. I guess you need to pick up more signals or indicators of interest first. Do drop hints and see how he respond to it.
I am married n had recently moved somewhered i frequently hung around before. Though i did not really converse with the people on the block we spoke my husband started noticing the guy next door starring @ me and comming closer alot more within a months time. He asked me was i “doing ” something to him for thisx behavior to occur. I looked at him like he was crazy. T ime passed it became obvious to me that this guy was playing flirty shy games with me even while my husband was around. I explained to my hubby i see what he ment but there is nothing going on. I was tired of being accused so attempted to ask the guy but he just starred at me and then turned his head.huh? But eveytime he sees me or my hubby he would speak and wave.Well needless to say he got tired of it and asked him whats going on.He exclaimed he did not know what he was talking about and how he thoght they were cool. Also went so far as I was trying to start a fight. What???? He still plays the eye game whther i catch him or not, but even more when the hubby is around.I try to ignore him but my husband cant. He has become more irritating telling me about this man. Why cant he ignore him. I mean he told me and hubby he wasnt interested in me.what is going on I am about to move myself from both situations
well, this person should not be a distraction that come between you and your husband. Men needs assurance sometimes, so when the neighbor starts flirting with you, just assure your husband that you have only him in your heart. This can be achieve by performing a loving gesture to your husband such as holding on to him, a peck on the check or a putting your arms around his choulder. This will also give your neighbor a signal that you are not interested in him. It is a double-edged sword.
Yesss. It works with me
I’ve liked this guy for about four or five months now. He was in my sign language class, but I wasn’t sure how to start talking to him. We finally ended up becoming really good friends after I just blurted something out to him, and we still are. A while after we became friends, he said the reason he didn’t talk to me first was because he’s shy.
Lately though, he drops somewhat cryptic messages and I can’t tell if he’s just being friendly, or WHAT.
For example. Every morning we sit together at a table, drink coffee, and literally just talk for an hour. But he gets all weird and moody whenever my other guy friend joins us.
He remembers almost everything I’ve ever said, kidding or not, and he’s said himself that his memory isn’t even that good.
And we have this joke where we pretend he’s just “hired” to be my friend. And one time, I told him to quit, and he said he’d rather be fired. And then I said it would be easier if he quit before he got stuck, and he told me to stop trying to get rid of him because I’m the one who’s stuck.
The last one in particular…I have no idea what that means, and he wouldn’t explain.
You are dealing with a shy guy and he has dropped you many hints that he is into you. If you like him, then you should start dropping hints too, even non-subtle ones. Sounds promising.
You weren’t sure “how to start talking” with him? You should have used sign language.
Hey.. Well i met this guy because of my best mate.. The first time he saw he quickly came to me and talk.. We had a nice chat.. That night.. We went clubbing.. And my best mate forced me to dance with him.. Well she asked me the favor, at the begining i said no.. But i ended up dancing with him.. And well it went from dancing- flirting. And he was cuddling me like he didnt want me to go.. We even told me. The problem is i left like for two months. But since i left we he keeps in texting me.. We talk everyday.. And he is even gonna come to visit me for two weeks.. And he tease me a lot and of course flirt.. He said he likes me a lot.. But is hard for me to believe that i was thinking he just wants sex.. Cause he asked me if i am gonna sleep over in his hotel, without knowing me.. I have this feeling he just wants sex, could i be wrong?
Well, it seemed like he is flirting with you and coming on strong. Trust your intuition. Your immediate feeling is probably right. If you really want to see if you can go on a relationship with this guy, perhaps you can explore further by going on a date. Sleep over? It might not work to your benefit.
I have this staff of mine.. i liked him from the beginning. I’m not sure if he likes me too but I noticed him he mimicked me and he teased me a lot and when he saw that Im almost angry at him, he tapped my shoulders and comfort me by telling me that all he want is to see me smiling. He laughs a lot at me even though im not making any jokes he just laughs in the middle of our conversation most of the time and he keeps on smiling. and even call me names and every time he enters in the office he has this smile on his face
He sure is trying to get your attention and all action indicates that he is interested. Just to make sure – calibrate his actions – does he do what you have described with other female colleagues or is it just you? If that is his norm, then he is just being nice to everyone. Otherwise, he seemed interested.
I went to Brittany in france and on the ferry me and my 2 mates were playing ping pong and I was the only one who could play properly, one of my mates hit the ball so hard it was almost going over bored and the other crushed another ball with her foot. Me and my mates were worrying about what the staff would do and say and then one of them ran up to this guy and said ”hay!you!…excuse me could you get our ball for us” I said ”he could fall if he try’s to get it leave him alone” he said reashoreingly “its ok we’ll get it later I was watching you play earlier do you want me to help teach your sisters haw to play” I simply looked dawn blushing when one of my mates exclaimed “actually were her best mates and its obvious that you like like her so could you hurry up and play against her!” My other friend said “what’s your name” he told us his name and we played a game of ping pong and we accompanied each other for the rest of the day we recovered one ping pong ball but he took the blame for the crushed one so that we didn’t get groaned at by the staff the time came To separate and we exchanged numbers and shook hands and he went dawn the hall and I was walking up a flight of stairs when suddenly I lost my footing,slipped and rolled all the way back dawn. He ran over and helped me to my feet I burst out lapping said thanks and good bye for the second time and found mysalf staring in his eyes all day he kept dropping what I thought were hints But am not sure do you think he likes me
My boyfriend and i were together for around 3 weeks. I thought he loves me he alwats sent text messeges and call me for 2 weeks regularly. But he wants me to be jealous he even told me to check him out in facebook, his comments etc. but i didnt feel jealous he again told me that i was not jealous and on that night he didnot reply my sms and when i check facebook he posted that he found one girl beautiful.I got irritated and never contact him anymore.he also didnot contact me.What should i do?pliz help
3 weeks? If you are not the jealous type and he wants you to be jealous then I think there is something wrong with his self esteem. Since both are you are not in touch anymore and he doesn’t bother to contact you, best is to move on. Someone better out there is waiting for you…
I like this guy for about 1 year and i thought that he liked me because he looked at me very much.Now he is my friend because we talk on social network. He calls me with a cute name.The first time i met him he helped me to cached something.Onetime he told me that you are more beautiful with curlys.My friend belives that he likes me but the problem is that he told me one day that he has a girlfriend.I dont know what to do? If he doesent like me why he text me firts or why he stares at me.I really dont know.And i forgot he is a shy guy.Please help me!
Maybe he is just being friendly as he had told you he has a girlfriend. Keep observing and be intuitive.
I have 1 year that i like this guy.Both of us are in collage where boys arentt together with girls.My bestfriend firsty like him and i wasnt so interested at him.But sometimes i catch him staring at me and then i felt something.Now he is my friend on facebook and we used to talk everyday but he waits that i would tedt him cauuse he tolds me.He tells me im beautiful and he calls me with a cute name.But the problem is that he toldd me oneday he is not single.He firrrstly asked me then i asked him.Now i rreally dontt know if he likes me.If yess why he told me that he has a girlfriend
Perhaps he is evaluating his options or he is just plain flirting
evrythn here is true…..i like it
Went on an interview and “he” was there being that he was the Senior Engineer. He seemed very awkward on the interview? He couldn’t look at me at by the end of the interview.
Nevertheless, I started the job and became the Supervisor and he was the Manager. We began to communicate often about various things.
He came by my office on Valentine’s day and shared a funny story about a hospital stay he had. We laughed so much. He texted “glad to make your day”.
We went to lunch one time only and talked about past relationships and how we were both single, no kids and never married. He paid for lunch and carried our food to the table. Lots of laughter and deep eye contact.
Unfortunately, I was let go from the company…
I asked him could he be a reference for me when I apply to another company. His response was sure no problem, but is there anything else you need? How is life? I’m here if you need me, miss u 2″.
What is he saying?? Is he interested?
I really would like to date him…even told him if we were not co-workers he’s would be my type. Now we are not! Lol
Give it a go
Hey ~ well, I met the guy I like at tuition. The teacher put us nxt to each other so we started talking. He is rlly sweet and he volunteers to help me with questions I don’t know even though I didn’t ask him for help. He remembers almost everything I say. He also waits for me after class even though I didn’t ask him to. My friends also told me that he likes me. I felt that he might like me. However, when my fren asked him anonymously on askfm if he has a crush on anyone, he replied that he doesn’t have a crush on anyone. Does that means that he doesn’t like me but only treated me as a fren? He also told me that he is very shy and that he feels crappy about himself. We both sixteen. Pls help
We have know each other for 3 months.
I need advice. I like this guy and we met at work about 2 months ago. From the start we just ‘click’ I guess because we started telling jokes and just laughing without even knowing each other names. After we presented each other we start talking more and from nowhere we hang out and all just the 2 of us but we are just friends. Well thatd what we told everyone at work and each other. But I do like him and at the first hang out he ask me if he can kiss me and I let him. We just click. 🙂 we have fun when we are together, we flirt and help each other…we are too honest and I dont know how but we trust each other. He is moving half and hour from where I live but we even joked about been roomates and transfer to the same college. I get jealous and he get jealous too, we have things in common. We are really good friends in a short time but I think he doesn’t want me in that way. I have told him I lije him and I think first time in my life I may be falling in love. Idk what to do. I am not scared to say to him what I feel but I don’t want to make the qrong move if he doesn’t feel the same. He does everything that is list above. The 10 of them and more. Everybody tell me tgat he likes me that we can’t be just friends when we feel more than that for each other. But he told me we r just friends. What should I do?
Well, after telling him your feelings you need to gauge his response. Women are usually very intuitive – so trust your intuition on this.
I have learned the hard way more than once that when a guy asks you out, it is important to do 3 very specific things:
– Let him know you want to make sure that you are clear and there are no understandings and ask him “Are you asking me out on a date or would we be just going out as friends?”
– Ask up front if he is interested in you and attracted to you?
– About 4 – 6 weeks into it double check to make sure that nothing has changed and he has not put you in the friend’s zone. It is amazing how some of these guys can flip-flop and never tell you.
Do not become sexually intimate with anyone until you have clarified this.
I have not seen this in any rules of dating but it is really key in this new era of friends with benefits and booty calls.
I love you guys answers it’s everything I’ve been looking for. Sometimes people don’t feel confident in there judgment of the opposite sex. So by reading your articles gives us the answers to our questions!!! Thank TOYA!!!
if a guy calls you at night to come close…and you dont…and then he yells at you for not being there and dont talk to you …and then suddenly he says he is in love with you and he says he is possessive thats why wanted to intimate with you..and now he introduced in his family that he wants to marry me too….i dont get this at all…help here…
seem like the guy is childish and have some personality issue. If he can iron out those kinks or you can take that kind of emotional roller-coaster, then go for it. Otherwise, reevaluate the relationship…
hi,
just want to ask if i’m over-reacting or just simply being bothered abt something I shldnt be bothered abt in the 1st place.
There’s a colleague at work whom I have to work with, not exactly on a very close working relationship, but we do need to keep in regular contact whenever work is required and I do seem him almost every other day.
Just recently and out of nowhere, I had suddenly had a very very brief dream abt him and it was kinda on the romantic front and he is someone whom I wld nvr ever have a dream about! Prior to this dream, we had a meeting at work and we were joking about something and he just suddenly scrunched his lips to make a “kissing” motion and honestly, that did not bother me at all cos I knew we were fooling ard.
But the dream bothered me for a while and that feeling of being bothered came up again after we had a meal together with some other colleagues. I realised, that he is always teasing me till no end. Not really mean stuff, but little things that annoy me in a joking way. And perhaps I’ve over sensitive but during the meal, when I just happen to look his way, I did catch him looking as well and these are very brief moments.
What does this all mean? He is attached though and a few years younger though…..
As mentioned, I’ve nvr ever thought abt all this before….
Differences in age is not a factor. Does seem like he is interested in you. Your dream? It could be a manifestation of your inner thoughts – the ones your subconscious mind tries to suppress…
All of this is happening to the boy i like OMG!!!!
i happen to meet a guy in a work-related training. he was a panel observer, i was a participant. when the organizers introduced us to each other, i found him handsome but i was afraid it was not an appropriate place to flirt around. apparently i also caught his eye. he kept smiling at stealing glances at me during the whole activity and lunch. afterwards, he asked for my number and asked me out to wine and dine with him in another hotel. we hit it off that night, enjoying each other’s company and he complimented me on my looks, my career, my potential and even my personality. he seemed impressed with my work (I am a lawyer with a promising career in an important bureau), he also talked about his own career plans ( he is in the army) and even some of his background. i couldn’t stay late that night because we were expected to be early at the venue the next day. he seem very taken with me, asked me if i am dating someone else and literally charming the hell out of me (as I also did to him). All through the night, he acted appropriately, very decent in fact and well-mannered. The next day, he even brought me cookies and asked me if I could have lunch with him if I can manage to take a break from the training which unfortunately I didn’t. He was all there across the room, stealing glances, texting/flirting with me with his very demure smile and telling me he find me hot, lovely and genuinely interesting. he said i am not only physically attractive but mentally stimulating as well. he introduced himself to my boss, my colleagues. unfortunately he had a plane to catch that afternoon. it was sad to see him go and he told me he missed me already. we said our goodbyes and kissed each other at the lobby. we texted that night, the day after and so on. We get raunchy, flirty and sweet. then four days after he told me that he was seeing someone else before he met me and they had plans to take the relationship to another level. he apologized for the bad timing and told me he had no bad intention whatsoever. it hurt me coz I felt he led me on but I know I am a good catch myself so I’m never gonna stop him or convince me otherwise. I just wished I didn’t allowed my hopes to get the best of me. I do believe though that whoever the girl is, she’s lucky. he was that well-mannered and polite guy you could always bring home to Mama. Sigh… gotta find my own prince..
There’s this guy. I knew him for almost 3 months. He likes to call me cutie and whenever he saw me, he will smile. One day, we went to tokyo together. We spent 5 days at tokyo. We’d doing most things together. He was once told me that he want to get marry with me. And when we were on plane, he kept begging my friend to change seat with him since he wants to seat beside me. He even hugged me without me noticed it. But after we were back from the trip he seem abit unfriendly and less talk with me. I’d take photos with this guy and he messaged me. He said he was so jealous to see me taking pictures with other guy but in the same i heard that he had a crush on other girl -.- but he didn’t want me to have a crush on other guy unless him. What is that mean? Does he love me or not? Pls reply 😦
seem like it wasn’t genuine or he had a change of heart… best thing – have a heart to heart talk with him
Im married for 2 years but been with my husband for 7 years and have 2 beautiful kids. My relationship with my husband is not really in good terms. I mean he used 2 be a loving guy and caring but after marriage, he is changed. He is abusive and hurts me lot with words too. He dont care how i feel anymore. But if he wants to make love, he looks for me.our relationship is not really stable. I have tries to leave him many times but had to come back for the sake of my childrens. He goes missing every month..1 or 2 days he wont come home and he wont answer my calls too…. meanwhile, his friend who is very caring and shy always helps me out in certain things. He treat me with respect & never lay his hands on me..this guy im talking about here… i used to dislike him in de beginning. But recently almost 3months, i started to missed him and thinks about him. I confess to him about this and he told me to get rid of him from my mind because my husband is his best friend. My heart was really broken.. i stopped calling him and deleted him from facebook too. But the feelings towards him didnt go away. Its bot about having sex with him because in the other way my sex life with my husband is really good. We both always satiesfied in this issue. But i just cant get rid of this guy and struggle a lot to forget him. One week ago was my daughters birthday party and i was not sure he would come and he came. He was very quiet and was not mingling with his friends. I caught him looking at me few times but we didnt talk. I was so shamed cuz i confessed him 3weeks ago. So i called him after 2 days … actually after 3weeks of no communication with him.. and he soundnvery happy and was keep talking for more than 50mins. He laughed for anything i said but he was not like this 3 weeksa ago. He told me that he was shy and keep asking me if im really fine. So, we have been talking almost every day on the phone. He gives me missed call to call him back because i can call him for free. Yesterday he was asking about my sister and he said she is a beautiful girl. So i just asked him … so how about me? He replied that im more beautiful than her tat im tall and have a curvy body. I really need to know if this guy really likes me ? Or have any feelings for me but he dont want to say. I purposely didn’t call him today. Will he miss me? Anyway, he is my husband best friend. So i dont know how its gonna be. But my feelings for him is really natural and i cried a lot during 3 weeks of no communication with him. Talking about my husband… i really dont talk nice to hi anymore and i told him to agree for divorce but he refused. But he has de responsibility on our family. I mean he try his very best 2 provide everything for us. And he have too many friends.. im so confused and kerp googling about almost everything to find an answer for my situation. Whenever i talked to his friend, im so happy and keep laughing. Please someone out there … give me yoir best advice. Thanx 🙂
he’s definitely into you
So I’ve known this guy for about two years, the first year was just fine, we didn’t talk to each other that often. But I noticed couple of things recently.
One day I was just sitting around, I caught him looking at me and he looked away so quickly, it made me feel kind of uneasy.
I thought that was just a coincidence, but the next days I caught him more often. Sometimes he tried to hide it by smiling casually.
He was smart, but recently he has been asking me questions I knew that he could answer. Everybody in my class always compliment each other very often, I already got used to it so I think he just complimented me like everybody else did.
He was also very protective of his scores, I couldn’t even look a glimpse of it. But now he seemed rather more off guard and I could look at it when he was around but not looking at me.
Honestly, I don’t know. He is indeed a very shy guy. So perhaps anyone could give me an answer.
I really like this guy. We flirt all the time when we’re together. Every conversation starts out normal but quickly turns sexual. He teases me constantly, from how I speak (I’m from the mid-west) to the stupid things I tend to say because I get so nervous around him. Like the other day I was laying down with my eyes closed and didn’t hear him come in the room and I look up and he’s standing over me smiling then he walked by and untied my shoelaces. I catch him staring at me, he is always smiling when I’m with him. He talks about very personal things with me, family stuff most people I would think wouldn’t feel so comfortable talking about this soon. He gives me a hard time for being friends with a guy I used to date, nothing happens with this other guy it’s strictly platonic and I don’t have any feelings for him and I make this very clear. When we part we always have this super long hug, he’s much bigger than me and it’s just nice hugging him. The hugs always last like 20-30 seconds. A guy friend has never hugged me like that before. He calls me babe, honey and things like that. He always finds reasons to place his face very close to mine usually by being goofy or cracking jokes, almost like he wants to kiss me. The thing that throws me off from thinking he likes me is that he talks about other girls. He told ne about a crush he had and about a girl he has been going on dates with. To me it seems like he’s trying to make me jealous, I’m not a jealous person though. We have so much in common and I’m just not sure if he likes me or if I’ve been friend-zoned.