I was bored one afternoon and decided to grab something to read from my bookshelf. It turned out to be a relationship self-help book which I received from a friend for Christmas a few years ago. It was one of those bargain “pick-me-up” books (with a 70% discount) that the bookstore just couldn’t wait to get rid off (hint: probably not a reliable source to begin with.)
The chapter on “What to Say on a First Date” is interestingly written and outrageously hilarious, so much so that I felt guilty not to share the fun with you. It was also my intention that you would be able to learn something from the negative examples.
(DISCLAIMER: If you do decide to use any of the tips below, use at your own risk!)
The Golden Rule: He talks. You listen.
The Reasons: You’ll seem more mysterious to him. You’ll find out if he matches your husband wish list. You’ll be more likely to have a second date.
Think of your first date as an interview. Focus on drawing out this new man. Ask him lots of questions. In fact, prepare your list of questions ahead of time (you got to do your homework, girlfriend!). About fifteen questions is about the right amount, but if you want to be on the safe side, have twenty questions handy. Make sure you study them so well that you can memorize them from backwards, in the correct order and without skipping any – every question is IMPORTANT! We are talking about your first date (potential husband) here.
Begin your conversation with safe, non-personal subjects (I think the author really means that you should avoid talking about living objects – focus on the dead things. And also, these casual opening topics should not be added onto your list of 15 or 20 questions for your date of honor.)
Some (bad) examples:
a) weather (The weather is so wonderful today. It’s not raining. Do you think it’s going to rain later?)
b) music (Oh, I loooove this song. It’s one of my favorites. My ex used to sing this to me all the time.)
c) road traffic (Wow, isn’t it amazing that the traffic is so smooth today? I can’t believe it! I was running late because I couldn’t find my keys and my hair was a mess, but look, I’m not even late…)
d) the (artificial) flowers in the corner (Oh, look at those lovely flowers over there. They are PINK! Pink is my favorite color, by the way.)
e) the painting on the wall (That woman in that picture looks like my grandmother. She died a year ago.)
Some Potential Questions to Ask Your Interviewee/ Date (which will guarantee to scare him to death and make him run to the nearest exit):
1.) Where did you grow up?
2.) Tell me about your childhood. Were you mostly happy or sad? Are your parents divorced?
3.) What are your dreams for the future? What do you want in life?
4.) What is your spiritual background? Do you pray?
5.) Do you see yourself as a husband and father? Do either of those roles scare you and why?
6.) If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Where would you prefer to raise a family?
7.) Do you like your job? Do you plan to keep it or are you looking for alternatives?
A FINAL REMINDER (from the author): Make the date ALL about him.
Oh, definitely. Ask him lots of questions. The deeper the questions, the smarter you seem to him. Don’t forget to provide plenty of chances for him to expose his feelings to you on the first date. This is only going to flatter his ego to the greatest level – Men love that!
Good luck (if you follow any of the above advice/suggestions)! 🙂